Thomas Merton wrote in New Seeds of Contemplation, “But a man who is truly humble cannot despair, because in the humble man there is no longer any such thing as self-pity.” The sentence gave me pause because I immediately thought of Gail.
It seems like a lifetime ago when one of my personal projects was to save women’s stories and the images they inspire. Gail participated and shared her story, one of battling cancer. Her take on the battle was inspiring. In her essay, she said, “I now try to look at the ‘why me’ question differently. I still believe that the answer to ‘why me’ in terms of getting cancer is definitely ‘why not me.’ But I try to apply the same logic to surviving advanced breast cancer. Why should I survive when the statistics are not in my favor? The rules are the same: one doesn’t inherently deserve nor can one earn the right to survive. Thankfully, neither is it a zero sum game; for one person to live, another does not have to die. So, why me? Why do I believe I will survive? Because I choose to live my life as an optimist.”
She described herself as an optimist, which she was, but I think the more critical characteristic she exhibited was humility. She admitted to having bad days when her optimism waned, but her overall spirit and attitude was grounded in her faith and her humble recognition of “why me…why not me”?
I believe Merton’s observation and Gail’s declaration serve as reminders that no one will ever live their lives without pain, confusion, injustice, illness and the myriad of other things that can lead us to a sense of despair, but there is a way to shield ourselves from that damaging state as much as possible by being humble. Every single one of us will experience plenty that could drive us to despair and self-pity; welcome to the human race.
The Bible has a multitude of messages that call us to lives of humility. It is for our own good.